Wouldn’t you know that I picked the ‘week’ for the challenge when there are many food festivals going on…should be one of ‘Murphy’s Laws.’  And yesterday was such a glorious day temperature-wise…the few in St. Louis so you have to grab them when you can.

Not that I am a glutton for punishment, but I did venture to the Taste of St. Louis—certainly not to eat anything since I couldn’t afford anything with my stash at home.  But great music, and people watching while strolling through the food booths—however briefly since this wasn’t a ‘funnel cake and corn dog event’—would have turned those down anyway—and the smells were making my mouth water.  

For those of you, not in the know…this is a ‘tasting’ event where you can sample specialties from some of the top-notch restaurants.  During my stroll, I noticed an unbelievable amount of food that was half-eaten or just thrown away, and these were just ‘samples!’  It was amazing to me how cavalier some people were, and had not only visions of children in India starving, but people in our own fair city.  Maybe I was more sensitive since I was having a few hunger pangs.  Do me a favor, walk but a public garbage can sometime to see what I mean.  

We do have several homeless clients, who may have known to do MORE than just walk by garbage cans before becoming clients. A sister agency which addresses the homeless HIV-positive community, Positive Directions, brings their clients to our congregate lunch every Monday.  There they have a 3-course lunch served restaurant-style at tables draped with white linens.  We started the lunch to target people who are truly disenfranchised because of HIV disease, and who may not have any other reason to get up out of bed and go somewhere.  

So tomorrow, I will be reminded again how our services treat client with dignity.  And since there is no such thing as a free lunch, I plan to nosh on canned tuna, crackers and the penultimate apple…a good thing, since only two more days with the challenge.

I will have to try my hand in the kitchen again since oatmeal for dinner isn’t quite cutting it.  Though filling…I had two bowls since I was invited to a birthday party.., how many times a day can you eat it—it's been my staple breakfast since Day 2.  I knew that the buffet table at the party would be brimming with delectable goodies, but I didn’t want to eat any of it.  To walk in our clients’ shoes…I figured that they normally wouldn’t be invited to such a fete.  

When I first started the challenge I thought I knew exactly what I would eat each day, but monotony has set in, and I am trying to be creative with the food that I have left.   Ever tried oatmeal and tomato sauce?    Not bad actually, but don’t think that Betty Crocker will be calling any time soon.

These last two days, I have not had the energy to do much of anything.   Though clearly less calories are going in, there hasn’t been much physical activity to maintain any muscle health or tone.

 I describe these last few days as being on 33 and a 1/3 in a 45-speed world.  OK, so I am dating myself having played ‘vinyl records’ when a teen.  Just a bit off with my thinking and speech patterns. 

It’s getting harder and harder to have a balanced diet.  I would imagine that someone with limited and no income doesn’t do meal plans.   They would eat anything that is available—more of a fill the belly kind of thing.  They don’t have a choice.  With choice comes dignity.  Some people think of Food Outreach as a Meal on Wheels type of program.  It is, but it is more than that.   Yes, we do have homebound clients, but they get to choose what they want to eat like all of our clients.  Something that may have sounded or tasted good before, now they may not be able to stomach.   Having the choice not only gives them the dignity, but also gives them power..  We never want to ‘force feed’ our clients for lack of better terms which further ensures that no food goes to waste. 

I did it again…I snarfed down an apple while watching Jay Leno last night.  So what if I am not loyal to any late night TV show.  By my count…I can have an apple a day for the rest of the challenge (4 days) with one to grow on.  My mind is racing how I will splurge with the remaining lone apple.  Will I use it as a special treat dipping slices into PB (provided I have any left) or just take big bites out of it and savor its tangy juices?  I have to say I have never eaten apples so completely of late, gnawing the very last bit from their cores knowing that it might be 24 hours until I have the ‘delicacy’ again.

When I look at the remaining food, I notice that more that half of the protein is gone with still a lot of carbs.  Haven’t had any pasta and tomato sauce yet—meat flavored…I really should read labels more carefully.  That is too special for a week night.  Plus that would mean that I would have to boil water again.

It is a good thing that I don’t have diabetes like many of our clients who are on a particular HIV drug class, protease inhibitors.  You see… just by taking these life-saving drugs, you can get diabetes.   A heavy carb diet certainly costs less ‘dough’ and is more readily available.  So who wouldn’t fill their belly with this food group if that was all there was.  But my sugars would be totally out of whack if I also had diabetes to worry about.

I do have to say, there has been several people when they learn of the challenge say, “What only 7 days?  I could do that.”  But when you are used to eating three balanced meals a day—OK, somewhat balanced, and now taking in half the daily calories, this is stuff.  I am not going to sugar coat it.  Would be the same for someone whose life was clicking along, and now 'down-sized' and given less hours at their hourly-wage job...compound that with having to struggle with either HIV disease or cancer.  I say talk is cheap.

An apple a day to keep the doctor away?  It wouldn’t hurt. But for our clients, a better way is healthy meals, education and a concerted effort to stick to their drugs—drugs that require certain foods to be effective.  Food that we provide which also helps clients tolerate severe GI side effects.  It's all about quality of life, too.

We got the call from Deanne Lane at KSDK, and they want to do a cover story about the Hunger Challenge (to air on Monday Sept 29 at 10PM.) Here’s the catch…  as part of the story, they wanted to ‘film’ me actually fixing dinner.  I decided to make it easy and boil some eggs.  So there I am, tv cameras rolling, watching the pot boil (was fascinated), carefully putting the eggs in the pot and waiting for them to ‘get firm.’  Well who knew that it takes 10 minutes?  I certainly didn’t.  Okay, I feel a little bit like an idiot, but hey we all have our talents and mine aren’t in the kitchen.  I normally would have thrown them out, but eggs are now precious and needless to say that I had 2 semi-hard boiled eggs for dinner and a handful of baby carrots.   

I tell this story because I think of our clients who may not know how to cook or don’t have the energy to make dinner because they are wiped out from the chemo they had that day.  Luckily, they are able to toss our frozen meals into the microwave, and sit down to a nutritious meal in 3 minutes.

I also feel like an outsider in an ‘eating’ world.  Food all of a sudden is always around me.  Food can be a connector but when you don’t have it or on a strict diet, you naturally limit your socialization—or I have. Gone are the days…at least for now…when I can eat lunch with the staff since they are heating up leftovers (man, they smelled good) or ordering BBQ takeout.  That’s it…rub it in—just kidding.   I had my second PB and J sandwich, and wonder if I am smearing more PB than I should to make it last through the challenge.

Don’t know if the headaches I am having are due to caffeine withdrawal or not having a full belly.  Close friends will tell you that I can get irritable if I don’t eat.  I am trying to ‘play nice.’  I tend to watch the clock, counting down the hours and minutes when I can have my next ‘meal.’  And decided to have a stash of oatmeal at the ready just in case, and a microwave—one of the perks of working at Food Outreach, but I’d be hosed if I didn’t.   Are microwaves a luxury?  They are for some of our clients who barely have a pot in their kitchens.

First day done, six to go—but who’s counting.  I am.  I am one of the lucky ones who can have a count down unlike our clients who have to be very creative and yes, somewhat desperate to make ends meet.

I actually will put one of their tricks to task since I decided NOT to buy catsup at the grocery—if I need any, I will raid some packets at some fast food restaurants, the same with salt and pepper.  Hey, catsup was over a dollar.

They say that misery loved company.  Not that taking the challenge is misery, but it did help to have some fellow shoppers with me—real troopers.  Rachel Storch and Jeff Smith who are in the state legislature, along with Attilio D’Agostino are three people that decided to take the plunge. 

Rachel came prepared with calculator in hand.   I, on the other hand , was trying to figure the running total in my head.   The gray matter ain’t what it used to be.  And of course, when I go to checkout, I placed the items in order of importance, and had to put back a box of ‘mac and cheese,’ along with applesauce, yogurt, and ice cream sandwiches.  Seen as treats or rewards—I do have a sweet tooth at times—but stuff I could and should live without…well at least the ice cream, but they are a source of calcium, right?

Before I started my challenge, I was a bit anxious but also a bit cocky—this will be a piece of cake—pardon the pun…but last night watching David Letterman…I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side and cancel at the very last minute…the hunger pangs were getting the best of me.  Not wanting to really fix anything since I am culinary challenged to begin with, I ate half an apple knowing that I had carefully planned to have at least one apple a day.  With most best laid plans, that will probably change since my goal is now in jeopardy.  Wonder what will happen tonight…maybe I should just go to bed early.

Yesterday was especially tough, or I am trying to convince myself of that.   I didn’t have anything to eat before my shopping ‘spree’ so I skipped breakfast.  I had my first peanut butter and jelly sandwich since grade school.  And it tasted good, or I was just hungry.  I don’t know which.  The true test will be today (Day 2) when I have the same thing.

What’s for dinner?  I wish beef but beef is out of the question at least for 7 days, and who knows after this experience I may tone it down a bit.  So it was tuna and crackers.  And have you read any food labels lately?  A 6-ounce can is 2 and ½ servings?  Give me a break!!!  For those counting calories, beware.

One of the bright spots yesterday was a random meeting with one of our former clients unbeknownst to me at the time.  When we were getting off the bus, an African-American woman came up to me and asked if she knew me.  She had sunglasses on so I didn’t think so, but she swore she’d seen me somewhere.  Well, that certainly narrowed it down.  She asked me where I worked, and somewhat hesitant I said that I work for a charity (really hate that term, but I figured it would make more sense at the time) and that we feed people who are sick.  She said, “That’s it!  I knew you looked familiar; I came to Food Outreach a year and a half ago because I really fell on hard times.  God bless, you got me through it.  Having you guys there was a real help since I had one less worry.  My life was really crap, but I knew that I would have enough food.  Haven’t been back for a while, but I never forget a face.”

She and our 1,500+ clients make the challenge worth it.